A goodbye to our old home

I flew back Thursday night to pick up the Jeep, drop off the keys, and drive the jeep back to Lexington.  Harold wouldn't let me say goodbye without one final photo - yes that's my Harold.

It was an awesome house for the time.  As Jon's Parkinson's progressed, the very things we loved:  the huge windows in the stairway, the stepdown living room, etc proved problematic.  It was time.  It was time to say goodbye and hope my lovely realtor can shortsell the home for us.  I hope another family finds it as lovely warm and opening space as we did.

Speaking of said realtor - she was able to make a great trip to Paris so I didn't get to see her.  I was a wee bit jealous then I remembered just how much I hate traveling.  The trip to get the jeep cemented that.

I worked all day Thursday then drove to the airport (a scant 15 minute drive).  I had to fly to SC to get to DC - sadly you cannot fly out of Lexington to BWI - my airport of choice.

By the second flight I just wanted to be back somewhere where I could lay down.  That was before the cab ride out of DC - a very pricey ride but well worth it for one who refuses to drive in that maze of messed up roads and confused drivers.

We finally got to Laurel to Em's house to pick up the jeep (where she had graciously been keeping it for me).  She also graciously offered to let me stay at her house as she is out of town on a cruise.  I opened the door and immediately her BatCat came running thinking I was Mama.  Then every noise I made here he'd come wanting her.  He was so upset that I left the key, locked the door, and drove to find a motel room.  Poor kitty.

Then the next morning came the 9 hour drive.  Well it was supposed to be 9 hours.  However I had storm fronts near the entire way which not only slowed me down but blew my gas mileage completely out the window.  Then on I68 in WV there was an accident that shut down both sides of the interstate.  I started to grumble then heard up the line that lifewatch had been called in.  Here I was in a reasonably comfy vehicle, ac, enough money to get a hotel room if I was running too late and thinking of myself instead of the poor people who were in the accident.  Harold slapped my hand but good over that one.

After about an hour we were back on the road only to run into thunderstorms most of the rest of the way.

Did I mention I really hate traveling?

By the time I got home I was so sore and so tired all I could think of was pizza and bed.  But that would have been rude to the happy welcoming committee that all wanted me to reassure them I wouldn't leave again.  From cats to bird to Jon they hovered and followed ... I think they miss me.

Home is definitely where the heart is.  My heart is here with my loving husband and affectionate creatures.  While I often long to explore, I believe I'll leave my exploring to short trips and via the internets.

I took the photo above on Thursday.  Somehow - to me - the place looks sad without us.  however my heart is truly in Lexington now.

Lexington? how did we get here?

Off to a new journey - that of a re-transplanted flatlander.

As you know I've lived in Virginia, Oklahoma, Kansas, Louisiana, Washington State, and now Kentucky.  The work path, Parkinson's path, and other forces converged to where Jon and I (and of course Harold) relocated for work....to Lexington KY.

A state in which I've never lived and only rode through when I was very young when Mom decided to leave Virginia for Kansas.

We also went from being homeowners to apartment dwellers - yet another change.  The Parkinsons has gotten to the point that stairs became problematic for Jon.  So now the only sort of 'step' we have is the curb.  This is a good thing.

We also live within minutes - less than 5 mostly - from most things we need.  This gets him out and about more.  He is loving the Krogers that is literally about 2 minutes from the apartment.

How did this all come about?  Well during Harold's silence (Citalopram - forgot the brand name - tends to stifle the muse so he was in hiding), I took a job in Rockville.  That company was purchased by the company where I now work.  My new supervisor wanted me in Lexington, Jon and I spoke about it, and decided it was Thundercats GO.  No we didn't consult the cats.  Or the bird.  Actually she's very lucky I didn't rehome her - I almost did.  However things converged and the community where we had the most interest allows birds not counted as a pet.  Therefore we could keep both cats and the bird.

Harold however is itching for the camera.  Everything here is so green.  Everything here is so ... pastorale for lack of a better spelled word.  Actually he has been fascinated with the changing light on the trees out on our front porch - the photo above.

Just wait til I take him on the walking trails.  I'm hoping Jon can join us - with Parkinsons it's not one day at a time but literally one hour at a time -- as we found out at Target on Saturday when his body rebelled without warning or reason.

One day at a time.  One hour at a time.  One minute at a time.  Tough for a consummate planner such as myself.

However, as Harold often reminds me - I adapt.  I may kick and scream but I will adapt.

...and yes so will my muse.  He's already eyeing the canine traffic out the back patio .......

The photo above was taken from my front porch a few days ago.  It really is beautiful and quiet here.

extra garlic - tabasco optional

Two random thoughts:

I prefer spicy and savory over sweet
This photo - while not spicy - speaks to me of the relationship between fluid and stationary.

Jon has a meeting today with HR to discuss going on full time medical disability.  It's time.  His work is suffering and his health is suffering.

Still - it's sort of an end of an era.  We knew it was coming but wanted to put it off - and thus embrace the semblence of normalcy - as long as possible.

It's just no longer possible.

Harold - and the changing of the seasons - have helped keep my sanity of late.  Whenever I want to crawl in my dark black hole and hide from events that have overtaken, Harold spots a tree or a bird and I can see the wonder in creation.  That allows time for my type-A overplanning brain to take a break and for me to take a breath.

Amongst the other issues that are more than obvious, is the loss of sense of self that retired persons can face. Jon feels like he's let me down, so I spend an enormous amount of time building him up - his self-esteem, his sense of worth.  It's tough.  It's tougher for him though.

However, as I often remind him - We Are Together.  THAT is what counts.

This weekend we shall wander about The Grove and celebrate being together.  October 15th it will be 10 years since I moved out here.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So I took Harold to the water ....

I know I had promised photos of Baltimore and I will eventually. However, last weekend Jon and I went to Geneva Ohio for the Great Lakes Medieval Faire (review eventually) and -- of course -- Mine (and Harold's) first view of Lake Erie.

Definitely awe inspiring.

I loved the combination of resort town feel with down home country charm.

I think we'll be back.

Meanwhile --- photos:

G'mornin Harold

I have to laugh at that - having your muse wake you just to say good morning.

Then again there are worse things.

I find myself for the first time in literally ages longing for my camera. I literally itch for it. The photos I wish to take, the areas I long to photograph and chronicle, places new to discover and places to rediscover.

It's been a long time since I've felt that.

Perhaps it's the age old excitement over turning another year older. Perhaps it's just the blissful idea of no concrete plans, no demands, for the next 3 days.

Perhaps -- just perhaps -- the idea of a few pints in Fells Point wooed my picky muse.

Either way, there will be pictures this weekend :)

*****

The photo above was taken of The Inner Harbor in Baltimore from the walk by Rusty Scupper winter 2007. Oh yes, there will be Rusty Scupper in my future this weekend as well ;)

Harold's Blog

wait? Harold's blog?

As a matter of fact .....

*****

In all honesty, this blog (with it's rather oddish title) was at Harold's back during the hightime glory days of Y!360. Sometimes things just wanted to be put on paper -- ok well in cyberspace anyway -- that wasn't of a social blogging nature.

This was it.

Later it was where I started working through the multiple illnesses with Mom and Jon's diagnosis. Here is where I said the things that could -- and probably would -- get me blasted on the more social platforms.

In a desperate attempt to re-woo my picky muse, I'm converting this back to "Harold's blog". It won't have angst (maybe snark though - he is a snarky lil bugger), it might have poetry (or prose) and more than likely more photos. Those are still Harold's favorite mode of expression.

On That Note: have you ever just watched the hands of a gifted magician? No no no -- NOT to catch how he or she does the 'trick'. I'm talking about the grace of movement of sleight of hand. It's rather a ballet in and of itself.

Haven't noticed? Take a look sometime. Remember, magic is where you find it -- you have only to take a moment to notice.

*****

The photo above is from Virginia Renaissance Faire 2007. Sometimes it's the little things you find in the out of the way places that bring the most joy. For such a small faire it's truly one of our favourites.

Baby steps

I have a ton of different blog ideas roaming my brain but the urge to put them down just isn't there at the moment. I'm hoping the ideas stay until the desire to blog returns. If not then perhaps others will fill the vacuum.

I'm not certain how much of this apathy is the turmoil of the last 6 months and how much is the fact that my favorite blogging platform just isn't available at the moment. For those who know Harold, you remember he isn't fond of angst and being the picky muse he is, he decamps when I'm feeling emotionally out of sorts. For those who know Yahoo 360, well you know that it is all but dead in the water at the moment. Perhaps the new platform will renew a spark.

Baby steps: I think I have most of the paperwork surrounding Mom's estate taken care of save for a possible life insurance policy. Fortunately it was more simple in ways that I had assumed it would be. The years of contributing increasing amounts to Mother's expenses (as well as providing room and board gratis) is not without a tiny reward. Something about providing funeral home expenses being a tier 1 expense --- which translates to we pay ourselves first. Sadly there's not even enough to do that. Then again, I didn't step up for possible reward. It's just what you do.

We're also doing the slow conversion of 'her' room into the garb room. Don't get me wrong, Mom will still have her place on her dresser but I'll be moving the renfaire things from the other room to 'hers'. That will free my guest bedroom. Now to attempt to find a donation place to come get her things and hold her faire items for the MS Prepare for Faire sale. Bulk pickup is today.

Baby steps.

There is a blog in here somewhere about what it's like to be an empty nester for the first time in my life; to have a string of days where I don't have to check in on someone, where I don't have to bank sick days for another's potential illnesses. Perhaps another day.

******

the photo above is of The Wharf Rat in Fells Point (Baltimore) taken during the Pirate Invasion/Privateer Day this year. A good friend of mine held a toast to Granny here. As The Wild Granny was Keeper Of The Rum, we had a rum toast. She would've approved.

To blog or not to blog

or more appropriately which platform among the many to use?

I was a loyal 360 blogger for near to 2 years (from October of 05). One of my more successful endeavours (The Friday Five on 360) was either hacked or lost through Yahoo bugs. Either way it was there one day and gone the next after weeks of inability to access.

The 360 crowd were there and then there and then there and now some are back there awaiting a new Universal Profile (ala Mash?) due to come sometime next spring.

Others of the 360 crowd headed over to Multiply.

Soon the new 360 was Multiply and as such the bugs started, the problems started, the drama started.

So I posted on my Multiply blog (yes I have one) that I am getting off the merry go round. The social networking sites are fine but once you get started it can become near an obligation. The drama starts. The friending/defriending/threats to leave etc starts.

The headaches start.

Then it's oh so easy to forget *why* you blog. Some do blog for the sole purpose of others reading. Some blog to pass information to others. Some blog to make a statement and others still chronicle their lives through words and pictures.

I blog simply because Harold likes to talk sometimes. Simple. For any people who might not know, Harold is my muse. Sometimes he's creative. Often he's funny. Even more often he's wickedly sarcastic and a bit intolerant (wait - that last one is me). Mostly he's the little voice that begs to write knowing full well that I'm better with numbers than words.

Why do I blog?

Because I can't not blog.

From the annals of Harold

I have to smile sometimes.

When I"m just bone weary tired - dragging to the point that going on seems rather pointless - music is my sole refuge.

Today Harold's rather eclectic mix included:

Love Grows (where my Rosemary goes)//Edison Lighthouse
Everytime I Think Of You //The Babys
Southern Cross//Crosby Stills & Nash
Please Go All The Way//The Raspberries
Frankenstein//Edgar Winter Group
Wishin You Were Here//Chicago
Layla//Eric Clapton
Thunder Island//Jay Ferguson
Baby I Love Your Way//Peter Frampton
Feels Like The First Time//Foreigner
The Stroke//Billy Squier
Don't Fear The Reaper//Blue Oyster Cult
Take Another Piece Of My Heart//Big Brother and The Holding Company

....yeah - Harold is nothing if he's not eclectic.

Oddly it helps. After the last month I need all the non alcoholic help I can get.