I finally ordered our faireever passes for the Maryland Renaissance Festival. It's a special place where we used to go every one of the 19 days - rain, shine, frigid cold - didn't matter we were there.
Not so much in the last couple of years. I see the limitations and I know that it's a compromise that I have to make. Explaining that to others ... not quite so easy. Then again, I really don't owe anyone an explanation except Jon.
Our dearest friends understand. They help watch him for signs of distress and pain while I wander a bit. I wander Revel Grove less and less though as time passes. It still retains its magic. The wonder of the trees. Being away from technology. Hearing live music, sharing a cup with friends, hugs, smiles, greetings -- those are still the same.
We have sadly changed though.
The benches at O'Shucks are the best because they offer back support. However, because they're the best, it's often crowded. Sometimes he needs to sit practically all day. Others we can wander a bit but still need to leave early -- always way too soon for me, but usually far too late for him.
Compromises.
I *could* go by myself but then I'd miss him and he'd miss me. I'd rather make the choice to spend time together, even if it is in front of the television watching The History Channel.
Choices.
I remember the choices I had to make with Mom (aka The Wild Granny). At first she wandered and looped and got drunk with a friend (and got sick in the trashcan at the White Hart - that's still legendary) but later it was just part way down the path and only for a few hours. Those few hours were restorative though.
They are for Jon as well. So we go early, often leave early, only go one day of the weekend and be blissfully happy that Revel Grove exists; that friends are around; and most importantly that he can still enjoy the magic.
I live in dread of the day when it's not possible anymore.
Just please, not too soon.
the photo above is of Mimi - one of the mimes. She sits upon the gate and does bubbles. A tiny bit of the magic of Revel Grove.
3 comments:
Good for you! I totally understand. After Tim's diagnosis in February, and after he was on oxygen, we still managed to see Eric Clapton and Robert Cray on our anniversary in March.
Yes, there's a new awareness of new circumstances, but it's still glorious to try things, knowing that the rewards are other than the usual ones. Keep makin' memories!
Smooches to you both.
Enjoy your moments. For my sister all possibility of those got taken all at once. And I am not dealing with the end of days for my ex-husband who remained a friend but who I found less and less time for in my life.
These long term relationships are the Keepers of our Memories. And you are a keeper of his.
Cris, I remember that - Clapton. I was so glad you two got to see him while you still could as wasn't his concert one of your first dates as well? We plan to do things while we still can and what we still can. Sometimes it's a juggle working around limitations, but oh so worth it.
Jacqui - I like that - Keepers of Memories. I'm so very thankful that Parkinsons' is not fatal (just the side effects sometimes) and that we have time together, however limited in function it may be. We do what we can now when we can instead of waiting until later. That in itself is a gift.
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