Or should that be an unusual state of mine?
I all but closed my main blog on 360. I felt I needed to focus my attention and time on Jon. Also, I found it quite difficult to blog to readers about anything when the thing in the forefront of my mind still is his condition and how we're coping.
I still cry when I talk about it.
...but I digress.
Anyway, I got a few unhappy people after I removed all but 13 (including my alternate) from my friends list and locked my blog and quickies to friends only. I did that so that when Jon is comfortable talking about what is wrong (if ever) I will have that blog for moral support as it were.
I know there will be a parallel drawn for many but to me it's not the same. Either way that is the way it is pretty much. Mine is a choice for a different reason: currently that diagnosis affects literally everything I think about. I am a plan for the future kinda gal. I'm finding myself rethinking EVERYTHING.
I hope this too passes with time.
I hope the driving desire to go to ground like a small wounded animal also passes with time.
I hope one day the tears pass.
I hope one day the tears cease because I've come to grips with this - not because there are literally no more tears left to shed.
2 comments:
I hate to say *trite* things, but you know, this moment of grieving will pass, you will confront it, both of you, and you will stop crying. Just now it doesn't seem that way and you are probably still in shock. That will pass and things will fall into place - a new place albeit, but still a place.
Francesca bella, that is not trite. I spent many years in geriatrics (direct care) and I know it will pass but I still cry when I attempt to put Debbie's passing into words and it's been near a year. We will cope because I will not allow anything else. You're a dear friend - thank you !
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