Profound Words of Wisdom

Don't complain that you have to go to work - be thankful that you can go to work - Sarah Osborne Bugg.

No she wasn't talking about be thankful that you have a job.  Rather - upon our 50th birthdays (hers a few days before mine) she was sharing words of wisdom from her mother.

Her mother was a woman who was thrilled to be able to see 50.  She had been fighting a terminal illness for near to a decade.  She lost the fight a few years after her 50th birthday.

But this isn't about terminal illnesses and the losses they cause.  This is about the ability to work.  See Sarah's mother couldn't work.  She was disabled.

She missed work.  She missed going to work.  She missed being productive.  Heck she missed going out.

That's something I often forget with Jon.  Since he cannot drive anymore and honestly it's just not safe for him to wander about without me, he's trapped.  Trapped in the house.  Trapped in the car with me driving.  Trapped with my decisions.

Thankfully he loves me or else it could be a quick road to resentment.  I cannot say I would handle it better.  Hell I know I wouldn't.  Being perfectly honest, I would probably take out my frustrations - and yes envy - on him.

That would be envy of freedom, of mobility, of choice.

He had an awesome career as a data base administrator.  He could program SQL and COBOL and make databases dance and sing.

Now he greets me in the mornings and watches me get ready for work - my mundane little job make sure people get paid.  He watches TV and reads and watches YouTube on the computer and naps until I get home.  Then he greets me and often has to hear about my horrible day --- probably thinking You Bitch at least you get to get out and DO SOMETHING.

ok knowing Jon he's not thinking anything of the sort but I bet it is still a bit bittersweet to hear about my struggles throughout the day ....

So for today - on this day after our 11th anniversary (and in his 2nd year of full disability) I will try and remember those words of wisdom that Sarah Osborne Bugg shared with me courtesy of her mother.....

Don't complain that you have to go to work - be thankful that you can go to work

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the photo above was taken last year in Virginia Beach.  Jon was watching the rain .... and quite possibly remembering the times we walked the beaches in rain -- or shine -- and just cannot anymore.  Yet you can still see the smile.  That's facing life with grace and wisdom and integrity and peaceful acceptance.  Oh I wish I could say I would be that amazing ... I know I wouldn't.