Profound Words of Wisdom

Don't complain that you have to go to work - be thankful that you can go to work - Sarah Osborne Bugg.

No she wasn't talking about be thankful that you have a job.  Rather - upon our 50th birthdays (hers a few days before mine) she was sharing words of wisdom from her mother.

Her mother was a woman who was thrilled to be able to see 50.  She had been fighting a terminal illness for near to a decade.  She lost the fight a few years after her 50th birthday.

But this isn't about terminal illnesses and the losses they cause.  This is about the ability to work.  See Sarah's mother couldn't work.  She was disabled.

She missed work.  She missed going to work.  She missed being productive.  Heck she missed going out.

That's something I often forget with Jon.  Since he cannot drive anymore and honestly it's just not safe for him to wander about without me, he's trapped.  Trapped in the house.  Trapped in the car with me driving.  Trapped with my decisions.

Thankfully he loves me or else it could be a quick road to resentment.  I cannot say I would handle it better.  Hell I know I wouldn't.  Being perfectly honest, I would probably take out my frustrations - and yes envy - on him.

That would be envy of freedom, of mobility, of choice.

He had an awesome career as a data base administrator.  He could program SQL and COBOL and make databases dance and sing.

Now he greets me in the mornings and watches me get ready for work - my mundane little job make sure people get paid.  He watches TV and reads and watches YouTube on the computer and naps until I get home.  Then he greets me and often has to hear about my horrible day --- probably thinking You Bitch at least you get to get out and DO SOMETHING.

ok knowing Jon he's not thinking anything of the sort but I bet it is still a bit bittersweet to hear about my struggles throughout the day ....

So for today - on this day after our 11th anniversary (and in his 2nd year of full disability) I will try and remember those words of wisdom that Sarah Osborne Bugg shared with me courtesy of her mother.....

Don't complain that you have to go to work - be thankful that you can go to work

***
the photo above was taken last year in Virginia Beach.  Jon was watching the rain .... and quite possibly remembering the times we walked the beaches in rain -- or shine -- and just cannot anymore.  Yet you can still see the smile.  That's facing life with grace and wisdom and integrity and peaceful acceptance.  Oh I wish I could say I would be that amazing ... I know I wouldn't.

On being 50 .......

Hard to believe.  50.  Wow.  Shouldn't I feel something?  Shouldn't I feel different?  Maybe have an epiphany?

Apparently not.  Just another day.  Another milestone.

I decided low-key was the way to go.  I treated myself to an awesome massage and a fabulous facial at our local day-spa.  I will say this:  living where I do, everything is close.  This place is just around the corner less than 3 minutes from the house.

I did get to hear that I didn't have the skin of a 50 year old - more like 40.  Sunblock works apparently.  My hands and forearms tell the tale of my age though.  I see the veins, the rough spots, and yes I know these hands have worked.  I see the beginnings of varicose veins on my legs and yes they've worked as well.  My body has served me well though I would prefer a bit less padding.

I also decided to toss the diet to the four-winds today and eat junk.  It wasn't as awesome as I thought it would be.  Perhaps another lesson learned there?

I'm at a good place in my life.  I have a career that I can either choose to expand or just keep as status quo.  A decade or so ago, I would have wanted to keep reaching, keep pushing, keep trying for more more more.  Now?  not as much.  I don't want to be in charge.  I just want to be indispensable *grin*  I'm happy at work.  I have enough to do to keep me from being bored without being stressed.  This is a wonderful gift.

I have a husband who adores me, though why I will never know.  I have 3 awesome children who call me Mom though I only gave birth to one of them.  I have awesome grandchildren.  I have friends throughout the country to whom I touch base daily and we keep up in each others lives, trials, joys, and tribulations.  More gifts.  The best gifts of all - people who you can love you can choose to love you in return.

Yes 50 is fabulous.  I bet 60 is even better.

I cannot take credit for the photo - it's a cake topper.  Since I'm not a cake person, I rarely get to see these but I thought hey Groovy ..........