To be Anti-social

Today I had such a pang of longing for the old Yahoo 360. Of course that didn't last as I tried to check my Yahoo mail and found the system was down.

*sigh*

The things they mess up.

I do miss my online community though.

Anyway I might eventually have to cave and wander back to Multiply. This entire change came at the absolutely worst time for me -- I had just closed my page down to a very few people and BAM on multiply I had dozens of requests perday --- of people I didn't know and people I did know and people who had changed their names so I knew them but didn't think I did ... too much too fast. When I needed to circle the wagons I had chaos.

Thanks - 's all the same I had chaos at home. I didn't want more.

I still don't. Not yet.

For now I think I'll embrace my anti-sociality ... until things calm down in my personal life for a while.

the picture above is of Essie - a cat we're fostering for a friend of mine. It was taken summer 2007

An unusual state of mind

Or should that be an unusual state of mine?

I all but closed my main blog on 360. I felt I needed to focus my attention and time on Jon. Also, I found it quite difficult to blog to readers about anything when the thing in the forefront of my mind still is his condition and how we're coping.

I still cry when I talk about it.

...but I digress.

Anyway, I got a few unhappy people after I removed all but 13 (including my alternate) from my friends list and locked my blog and quickies to friends only. I did that so that when Jon is comfortable talking about what is wrong (if ever) I will have that blog for moral support as it were.


I know there will be a parallel drawn for many but to me it's not the same. Either way that is the way it is pretty much. Mine is a choice for a different reason: currently that diagnosis affects literally everything I think about. I am a plan for the future kinda gal. I'm finding myself rethinking EVERYTHING.

I hope this too passes with time.

I hope the driving desire to go to ground like a small wounded animal also passes with time.

I hope one day the tears pass.

I hope one day the tears cease because I've come to grips with this - not because there are literally no more tears left to shed.