2013 - a new year - a new beginning

ok I was kidding about the new beginning except I miss taking photos.  I've bemoaned the last couple of years that Harold hasn't had his camera in hand but a rare few times --- and sadly those have been photos of other people and while fabulous (IMHO) I respect their privacy.

In fact I have one of the best photos of a very good friend that I've EVER taken.

The scales of time - they tend to balance when we're not looking.  For the longest time, Jon was the driving force in our marriage here in Maryland.  He had the great job, the confidence, the power if you will.  Now he is disabled.  While a great many men would bemoan the circumstance and quite probably take it out on their partner, he doesn't.  He throws his skills, his experiences, his drive, behind ME.

IKR?

brb - Parkinsons' ugly head - he's standing on his pants and in a bit of a quandry.

ok I'm back.  Crisis averted.

I found this year for the first time being off Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day and New Years Eve AND New Years Day. While yes I did work part of those days from home - WOW - I didn't have to go to work.

....and that leads to the photo above from the Snowpocalypse.  Not only would I not have to work if that situation arose again, I would not be punished for NOT working.

Jon kept saying if I paid my dues, paid it forward as it were, then good things would happen.

As usual, I think he's right.

though I wouldn't let him know that ;)

A series of partially related thoughts:

subtitled One Too Many Blogs

I took that picture last year of Mom's roses. She insisted we simply MUST have tea roses in front of the house. I'm not exactly a rose person. However I caved and we planted them. When she fell ill in January and into February, I made mention that I hoped she'd be able to see them bloom this year. She didn't make it that long. I'm still sorting out the mess she had made with her name (and the multiple name changes), with some property she sold on contract, and the lack of a will. She is still currently residing on her dresser in her old room because no action feels quite right: everything I consider doing with her ashes seems wrong. I guess when in doubt do nothing eh? Sometimes that is the best solution. Other times .....

We recently had to do a medication change for Jon. He and the Mirapex had MAJOR issues. Ignoring it did not make it go away either. I blogged about it on Life's Little Ironies - I won't go into it here except to say thank goodness that part is partially fixed. Now to wait on a fix for Parkinsons.

Speaking of Life's Little Ironies - Wordpress currently apprears to be my main blog. I had it hidden for a while but then decided why not eh? I still cannot quite get back on the social networking merry-go-round. I try and try and it just seems like too much work. Actually quite a bit of life seems like too much.

Which leads me to this: unless I feel markedly better in the next few weeks, I think I will visit my physician regarding anti-depressants. Actually I've had clinical depression before. This doesn't feel like it. This feels more like the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) I had back in 1991 only I don't freak when it rains. It just feels like everyone is moving 100 mph and I'm moving about 35 and I wake up in the middle of the night with my mind racing over all the things that simply must be done. However I can't link this feeling to one event. Then again there's been quite a lot of chaos in my life in the last 6 months from Mom's stroke, illness, cancer diagnosis and death to Jon's Parkinson's diagnosis, to issues with his mother's estate ... it definitely hasn't been quiet and calm.

Which leads me back full circle to Mother's roses. We lost one of them. Sort of symbolic yes? I will replant with a red one - she would've liked that.

Photo above was taken just before the April snowstorm 2007